How to Communicate Effectively with a Non-Communicative Parent

After a divorce, there may be a pretty decent strain between you and your ex. While some people could care less about this, those who have children will need to ensure there is some type of communication methods happening so that you can each have a positive impact on your child’s life. When your ex is non-communicative, it’s often hard to ensure you do your best to co-parent your children. However, even though it’s difficult, it’s also extremely important to do whatever you can to make it work. Below are a few tips to help you communicate effectively with a non-communicative parent.


Keep personal feelings aside.

If you had a nasty divorce, your personal feelings can get in the way of how you communicate. Oftentimes this can result in both of you fighting with one another, and this doesn’t help your child and can even make the situation worse. Whenever you are talking with your ex, be sure to keep your personal feelings aside and only talk to them about what you need to talk about. If they are the ones bringing up the past or making it difficult, do not allow their attitude to sway you into an argument. Instead, keep the higher ground, say what you need to say, and move on.


Keep it short and sweet.

Communication is key, but that doesn’t mean you need to be besties with your ex. Whenever you have something you want to talk about, keep the messages short and sweet. For instance, letting them know about an upcoming sports schedule, doctor’s appointment, or other information is easy when you just say what needs to be said. Don’t get into an explanation, don’t try to talk about anything personal, and don’t make small talk. When you keep the communications simple, you can make them easier to handle.


Use technology.

Today’s technology can be a nuisance, but it can also be a Godsend. If your ex doesn’t want to communicate with you on the phone or face to face, then opt for communicating with technology. Use text messages or emails to send your ex the information they need. Not only does this keep you from actually having to talk, but it also gives you an electronic copy of your communications, which you can use to your advantage in the future if necessary.


List you both as contacts.

If your child is in a club, activity, or sport, the coaches/teachers/etc. will likely have communication tools set up to keep parents informed of events, practices, etc. If this is the case, be sure both you and your ex are signed up to receive these communications. This way, your non-communicative ex doesn’t need to rely on you to receive information and instead they can talk directly with the coach or teacher.


Use a third party.

If your ex doesn’t want to talk to you, then try to find someone else your ex will listen to. For instance, maybe you can communicate with your ex’s parents, siblings, or friends instead and have them relay the important messages you need to share. While this may not be the most ideal situation, it can be the only way to ensure your ex pays attention to the things that are important.


Go to court.

Although you may not want to deal with the hassles of court again, it may be your only option to get your non-communicative ex to talk with you about your child and the issues that are important. Talk with your attorney or a mediator about what your options are and what you can do to have the courts intervene on your behalf.


No matter what may have happened in your marriage, keeping open communication with your ex is important for your child. Use these tips to try and keep the communication lines open with your ex in a positive way so your child can thrive with both parents.

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